Day 3 – Nice ladies finish last?

Ok, so that title sounds a little weird, right? But last night at Shuckers Oyster Bar & Grill here in Wake Forest, we noticed something . . . um . . . enlightening. So, let's start at the beginning.

There was a little bit of a wait when we got there, only 10 minutes or so. After signing in, we went and sat down on the bench to patiently wait for our turn to eat some yummy seafood. While we were waiting, a family walked in with an elderly mother & father, 3 middle age daughters and their spouses and a couple of mid-20's grandchildren. In other words, they were out to enjoy some quality family time together. The elderly mom and dad were able to squeeze in on the bench between us and another family. The grandpa started up a conversation with our 3 little ones, talking about when his little girls were their age, etc. The family on the other side of the bench kept shooting "looks" at the couple and kept scooting closer and closer to him, like they were trying to edge him off the bench. It was extremely weird to witness, I know I am not setting the scene right, but try to see what was happening. Well, the grandpa, being the gentleman he was, got up from the bench (I guess he got the hint) and went to stand up by the wall with one of his daughters, still talking to all of us. He was a very sociable fella. Then the "scooting" family started pulling the same maneuver with grandma, trying to make room for one of their boys.

Now I have got to tell you that the "scoot" family was a young couple (mid 30's-40's) with 3 teenage children. Getting a better picture now? My Tim noticed what was going on and he asked the elderly dad (in a very loud, un-Tim-like voice) if he would like to sit in his spot so he can rest while they waited. The father of the "scoot" family overheard Tim (as was his intent) and blushed bright red and immediately got up off the bench. It was a wonderful site to see. Tim was able to shame this man (but not his wife and children) into doing what was right. The man then said to his eldest son (looked to be around 15 or so) "why don't you let these nice folks have a seat? You are young enough that standing a while won't hurt you." Yay, score one for Tim! Sad that he had to shame a grown man, father to 3, into doing what was right, but boy was I honored to be the woman blessed enough to be married to this man!

The next instance of the me, me, me mentality that we witnessed occurred once we were seated at our table which was near the bar. A man and his wife walked in on one side of the bar while 2 women walked in on the other side of the bar. Both parties were looking for a spot at the bar as they waited their turn to be seated. There were 4 (FOUR) empty bar stools at the bar, right next to each other. They all arrived at the stools at the same time, so it was obvious the women saw the man and his wife looking for a seat. The man motioned for the women to sit first (showing good manners, yes?) Well, these women (notice I do not call them ladies?) took the two middle seats – leaving an empty stool on either side of them. The man and his wife just looked at them and then the man says something like "here, have a seat, I'll just stand while we wait," to his wife, the entire time shaking his head at the rudeness of the other two women. One of the women then proceeds to put her purse on the stool beside her . . . and no, she wasn't saving the stool for someone else.

What happened to the good old days when we had manners and something called COMMON COURTESY? Notice that it was the women in each story that were EXTREMELY rude? What has happened, my friends? Why can't we be nice to each other without feeling like we are losing our "femininity?" Why do we feel the need to be so . . . .what's the word . . . .bitchy (sorry everyone!) towards everyone? Can't we maintain our strength as a woman while still acting like a lady?

2 John 1:5 says "and now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another."

Remember, what goes around does, indeed, come back around. Hey "mom trying to scoot grandma off the bench", I can't wait for you to get old and I can't wait for someone to try to scoot you off the bench. I hope it hurts your feelings so much that you go home and cry. Ok – ok. I don't really want to make you cry, but I sure can't wait for you to be on the other side of that line you drew last night.

And "women that were too rude to share the bar with a man and his wife" I noticed the two of you weren't wearing wedding bands. . . . and yes it was quite obvious you were out trolling last night . . . .ever wonder why you are still single? Maybe because other men witness your rudeness and don't want a gal that can't manage to show some respect? Hmmm . . . .

Makes this writer wonder.

Leviticus 19:32 (NIV) "Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD."

Song for the day: Good life by Audio Adrenaline

Day 2 – Harlots or Ladies?

Ok, Ok! I just fell in love with the term "harlots" so I had to use it again, just for fun. Sorry about that. Now seriously, today is not really day 2 as our oldest is 10 years old, but it is day 2 of our being AWARE of what we are trying to do. And trust me. . . .being aware is half the battle. It wasn't until Kenne, our oldest, started mimicking me that I truly realized the impact I had on my children. And are you ready for this? I realized this when I noticed how she stuck her bag of fries from Bojangle's down beside the seat as we were driving, just like mom. Yep, something as little as that opened my eyes to this true dilemma. I say dilemma because if you were to ask any of my friends if I were a lady, they would laugh their hiney's off! I am soooooo not a lady. I am just a good old country gal who loves to laugh, loves to play and loves a good blonde joke now and then. I can remember my grandma Edith shaking her head over me NOT being a lady. She tried her best to make a lady out of me and unfortunately she failed. . . . .MISERABLY! So how the heckaroni am I, little ole' Kelli, going to turn these 3 girls into ladies.

First, let's define the term LADY. Here is what Dictionary.com has to say on the subject:

la⋅dy
noun

1.	a woman who is refined, polite, and well-spoken: She may be poor and have little education, but she's a real lady.

2.	a woman of high social position or economic class: She was born a lady and found it hard to adjust to her reduced circumstances.

3.	any woman; female (sometimes used in combination): the lady who answered the phone; a saleslady.

4.	(Used in direct address: often offensive in the singular): Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. Lady, out of my way, please.

5.	wife: The ambassador and his lady arrived late.

6.	Slang. a female lover or steady companion.

7.	(initial capital letter) (in Great Britain) the proper title of any woman whose husband is higher in rank than baronet or knight, or who is the daughter of a nobleman not lower than an earl (although the title is given by courtesy also to the wives of baronets and knights).

8.	a woman who has proprietary rights or authority, as over a manor; female feudal superior. Compare lord (def. 4).

9.	(initial capital letter) the Virgin Mary.

10.	a woman who is the object of chivalrous devotion.

1.	(usually initial capital letter) a. an attribute or abstraction personified as a woman; a designation of an allegorical figure as feminine: Lady Fortune; Lady Virtue. b. a title prefixed to the name of a goddess: Lady Venus.

Now, in case you are wondering, I am trying to mold my girls into the first definition: a woman who is refined, polite, and well-spoken. Not only do I want them to accomplish this task but it is our greatest hope that they will become "Ladies of the Lord." Now that may be a self-explanatory term for some of you, but others may really be questioning what the heck that means. Well, to Tim and I, it means that we want our girls to be well mannered ladies, who follow the true path of the Lord and are well-spoken on His word but in a way that is not over-bearing or intolerant to others. I want them to be like my Grandma Edith. SHE was a true lady of the Lord. Maybe one day I will be close enough that she will be smiling down on me . . . laughing a little, yes, but smiling just the same. I know she would be very happy that I am at least trying to teach my children the age old art of "ladylikeness." So, here we go. Let's see what happens today. Love to all!

Raising Ladies . . . . or harlots?

     I know, I know . . . .really, Kelli? Harlots? Isn't that a little harsh? I truly wonder. Have you ever heard the phrase that the more you are exposed to something evil, the more acceptable it becomes? Now I am not saying my children are evil . . . definitely not saying that. What I am saying is that the more we see plunging necklines, tight jeans riding barely above (sometimes not even) the butt crack (my personal pet peeve!) the more we become used to it and just say "that's just the way young people dress these days." The more we surround ourselves with sin the more acceptable it becomes.
      A friend of mine just forwarded me her Christmas message and in it she shared a message a pastor had shared with her. The pastor had lit a candle while the overhead lights were on. No one could see the difference that one little candle made. Why? Because they were viewing that light through the eyes of the world. The pastor then plunged the congregation into total darkness: the light from the candle being extinguished as well. The pastor then continued his teachings in the inky blackness for over 10 minutes. Then he lit that one, little candle. All of a sudden the entire sanctuary was a blaze . . .all from the light of that one candle. That one candle, when viewed through the eyes of the world made no difference whatsoever. But when viewed through the truth (the lights in the sanctuary being the world and it's lies, the darkness being the truth (I think we could go deeper and say that the world lives in sin but hey, let's not delve that deep on our first post!). Anyway, when viewed through eyes that have been opened to the truth, all of a sudden that light, that one little bitty light, shined so bright that we could finally see after being in the darkness for so long.
     I believe that the first step we, as parents, must take is to realize that we are the guardians of our children. We are to guard them from harm . . . not just physical and emotional harm, but spiritual harm as well.  I have not always been a follower of the Christian faith. Oh, I pretended to be a Christian. I pretended to follow His word. But come on folks. . . .I have to be honest here. I only followed MY word. I didn't involve my husband in our decisions. I didn't turn to the Bible for guidance. I didn't rely on faith to see me through  the tough spots. I didn't use biblical principals as a tool for raising my daughters. I did NONE of that. I think I felt I could do it all on my own. Mistake number one that most of us make:  WE CANNOT DO THIS ALONE. 
     The purpose of this blog is to share our experience as we attempt to raise true ladies in this harsh world. During this time we are going to share our personal experiences with you. We are going to share our victories as well as our failures, our "ah ha!" moments as well as our "oh my gosh, we did WHAT?" moments. So stick around and read on my friends. Let's travel together as this family discovers what it takes to raise a true lady in today's unladylike world.
     In closing I want to leave you with this thought: "But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Matthew 18:6

Song choice for today: Casting Crowns "Slow Fade"